Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
