is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize