We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
