I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
