i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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