Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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