I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
