i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
