Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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