her vagine was all disorganized.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
