Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
