We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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