I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize