I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
