he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
