Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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