Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
