The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
