My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
