Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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