You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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