I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
