Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
