He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
