Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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