Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
