Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
