Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
