The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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