Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
