i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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