used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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