Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
