I feel like abortions should bother me more
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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