she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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