I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I wear drunk well.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
