I will die if light touches me.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Fuck appropriateness.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
