hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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