Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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