wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
