I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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