we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize