no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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