I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
