Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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