I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm both gender and math confused
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
