I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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