the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
