Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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