Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
