I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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