was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
