No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just want nice things and good sex
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
