dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
