I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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