i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
