fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
