My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
